Most of us have known for a long time now that stars say and do the most ridiculous things. But in the last few days, there seems to be an epidemic of crazy spreading through Hollywood. Some of the celebrity news is leaving me scratching my head and sort of speechless — though not speechless enough not to toss my two cents into the ring.
What is wrong with Mel Gibson? Now he’s saying that he didn’t punch his ex, Oksana Grigorieva, with a closed fist, but he merely slapped her with an open palm — not too hard — in order to calm her down and stop her from hurting their baby, which she was carrying at the time. Personally, I’m over Mel vs. Oksana. She’s no more sympathetic in their media war than he is, but she has the benefit of not having been in my face, annoying me and making absurd declarations, for the last quarter century.
As for his assertion, I don’t believe a word of it. And even if I did, since when is it okay to smack your girlfriend, even to calm her down? And are there not ways to restrain a hysterical woman that don’t involve physical violence? Another question for Mel: Is slapping an emotional woman who is holding a baby not endangering the baby further? I’ve never been a Mel Gibson fan, but now I wish he’d just go some place far far away never to be heard from again.
Do famous people know how to be single? Nick Lachey gets engaged to Vanessa Minnillo, so what does Jessica Simpson do? She says, “I will,” to NFL player Eric Johnson, a guy she’s been dating only since May. A source told People magazine that the timing is only a coincidence, but considering that Jessica hasn’t spent more than a minute single since splitting with Lachey some five years ago, and she’s always got to be the one in the spotlight, I’m almost certain that after Nick proposed to Vanessa, she approached her jock with a proposal — er, demand — of her own: “If you like it, then you better put a ring on it.” It’s Beyoncé’s line, but apparently it works for Jessica, too.
Meanwhile, a little more than a year after LeAnn Rimes dumped him for Eddie Cibrian, her ex, Dean Sheremet, is ready to try marriage again. I suppose a year of mourning is long enough, but his engagement comes too close for comfort to denied rumors that Cibrian had popped the question to Rimes (though I suspect that when it does happen, it will be the other way around). It’s almost like these stars think there are only two sides to romance: marriage and divorce. Dating in Hollwyood: It’s so passé.
Doesn’t Bill Clinton have more important things to do than a cameo in The Hangover 2? And yet another mystery: Couldn’t the former U.S. president have picked something a bit smarter in which to make his film debut? First, George Bush reveals that the darkest moment of his presidency was being called racist by Kanye West (I wonder how he thinks Taylor Swift feels), and now this. Forget separation of church and state. I’d say it’s time for a decisive separation of state and Hollywood.
I was going to write something about People magazine’s latest main cover line — “KIM KARDASHIAN AT 30: I THOUGHT I’D BE MARRIED BY NOW” — but I’m still trying to figure out what exactly Kim Kardashian does or why anyone cares about her.