6 Random Thoughts I Had While Watching Christina Aguilera’s “Your Body” Video

1. Her hair and make-up is cartoonish (Betty Boop with blonde yarn on her head), and her garish, clashing attire makes her one of the worst-dressed pop divas on YouTube, but when did Christina Aguilera become so normal? She’s not thin; she’s not fat. She’s just right — a healthy regular woman, the kind who actually lives and breathes in the real world. That’s sexy. Somewhere around the umpteenth butt shot in the video for “Your Body,” the first single from her album Lotus, which is out November 13, I actually started to kind of get why her milkshake was bringing all the boys to her yard.

2. She has great taste in men. The three featured in this video are HOT like fire. At 3:54, the last one looks a little like True Blood‘s Ryan Kwanten, my all-time favorite Aussie after my ex-boyfriend. And I love the tattoos on the first one. Location location location. It’s all about tattoos on the lower arm. Makes me glad I got “Jeremy” in Thai on the left. Now if only I could come up with a suitable image to brand on the right.

3. Loving the trailer-park chic. I spent the first four years of my life living in a trailer, so I’ve always had a soft spot for them (and for unhealthy breakfast cereals, and for The Lucy Show, my favorite Lucille Ball TV vehicle — both of which get visual props here). And I like it when Christina plays with her trashy image, which she hasn’t done nearly enough since “Dirrty,” which came out almost exactly one decade ago. Her antics here aren’t so age-appropriate — they’d be more suitable for a pop diva Rihanna’s age (24) than a 31-year-old grown woman — but then take away the hardened sexuality, and Christina doesn’t look that much older than she did 13 years ago in “Genie in a Bottle.”

4. While her fellow comeback diva Alicia Keys is trying to be everybody but Alicia Keys on “New Day” and “Girl on Fire,” the two tracks I’ve heard so far from her fifth album Girl on Fire (out November 27), it’s good to see Christina Aguilera being Christina Aguilera again, which may or may not be such a good thing, depending on how you feel about Christina Aguilera. I, for one, think it’s always a positive when people are themselves.

5. As producers go, I still think she can — and should — do better than Max Martin, but the song is growing on me. The verses kind of just sit there, and it doesn’t challenge her voice in any noteworthy way, but in the hands of the right remixer — one who could untame the too-contained chorus — “Your Body” could possibly approach the greatness of Florence + the Machine’s “Spectrum (Say My Name)” and Cheryl Cole’s “Call My Name,” my two favorite pop singles in recent memory. Paging Calvin Harris!

6. All in all, not a bad video — and certainly better than “Not Myself Tonight,” the dreadful first clip from Christina’s last album, 2010’s Bionic. But it would be nothing without the guys, in much the same way that Maroon 5’s “One More Night” (the video and the song) would be nothing without Christina’s The Voice co-judge Adam Levine. In fact, watching Christina’s new video makes me want to see more of Adam, which is pretty much the same feeling I have whenever I see her on The Voice. Though his studied, manicured ruggedness is a tad irksome, I’d gladly get into the ring with him any night of the week. Why do I get the feeling that Christina would, too?

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