I’m not saying this knowledge was gleaned from recent personal experience, kicking off 2013 by falling into old habits with someone that I used to know (and love). After all, we’ve all been there, right? Who said it’s about last night?
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, should the opportunity ever present itself, here’s why sex with an ex isn’t always such a terrible idea.
1. Goodbye, body issues (if only for one night)! So you think you’ve put on a few pounds? Have you never been particularly crazy about your mutant toes and oddly shaped toenails? Put all those worries away. Your ex knows all about your physiological imperfections — imagined and otherwise — and still slept with you over and over in the past anyways. And afterglow is so much nicer when you don’t have to worry about what you’ll look like when you walk over to the other side of the bedroom to retrieve your underwear. (How did it get over there anyway?) Or when your ex, unprompted, comments on how much brighter your smile looks, immediately confirming that the $250 you spent on laser teeth whitening on Christmas Eve was so worth it.
2. You have a lot more to talk about — before, during and after. Have you ever had a conversation with an old friend whom you haven’t seen for years, and it seems like you just said goodbye the last time yesterday? You dive right in and pick up right where you left off, maybe even mid-sentence — on the off chance that your last chat was cut off by a bad connection. And if, post-afterglow, you and your ex decide to dive in and give love another chance, you’ll get to skip that tedious getting-to-know-you phase.
3. You can say things you’d never say to anyone else. One of my favorite scenes in the entire Sex and the City series is when, after a brief fight with Richard, Samantha demands, “Get that cock out!” Unless you’re starring in a porn or a guaranteed one-night stand, that’s not the sort of thing one says to set the mood if you’re looking for a new love, but it actually could make quite the arousing — and amusing — prelude to make-up sex. Newsflash! It works pretty well with exes, too.
4. You don’t have to worry about whether he’ll call (or text) you again. Even if sex with an ex doesn’t lead anywhere — and proceed with extreme caution if you think it might, and don’t even think about re-friending on Facebook — chances are you haven’t heard the last of him or her. That can be a pretty comforting thought when you’re lying in bed the morning after wondering what it all means and trying to decide whether to cover up with a sheet or go au natural when you do the walk of shame across the room to retrieve your undies.
5. Who knows your body better? That works both ways. Bodies don’t come with instruction manuals, so it’s always good to know exactly what to do and where to go in order to maximize everyone’s enjoyment.
The Best Song About Sex with an Ex
“I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)” Rachel Stevens